A man with the white underwear

He does not wear anything else
the title says what his only clothes is

A white underwear
that is the only that he has
"This is my life!"
he said with pride

He enters a city
Everyone is wearing full clothes from head to toe
Of course people are looking at him
He is the only odd one out

"Maybe I should be like them"
"I am different, maybe this is not right"
"I have to buy pants!"

He shows the city his new look
He feels more confident as he walks down the street
Less people stare at him

"I should buy a shirt!"
"I am still barefooted, no one in the city does not wear any footwear"
"I might need shoes!"

He keeps buying new clothes
until...
"This white underwear..."
"Boxers are more comfortable"

How far do you love your own language?

If you ever have come to Singapore and overheard the language spoken there, which they called Singlish, you might be tickled or shocked by how the Singaporeans have transformed the distinct British accent, their past colonies, into a topsy-turvy language or they call it Bahasa Rojak. However, if you cross that short Singapore strait and over the Sumatra island, you will reach Java, which you can find Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia, where the people corrode their own beloved mother tongue language, Bahasa Indonesia.


One said language has a strong bond with the culture, so does this mean the Indonesians, especially the residents of Jakarta, are destroying their own culture? The teenagers began to mix up the Indonesian language with English language, even in most teenager's novels, there are numerous words written in italic. Does this mean they do not love their own language anymore?

Maybe this is en route to open Indonesia for internationalism where most of the people are able to speak English. We can clearly see that more and more foreigners are confident to live in Jakarta since many of the residents are able to communicate with them well. However, this may lead some people to perceive English as a superior language and start "betraying" their own national language. Another threat is schools which use English as their main language as the students become used to not to use Bahasa Indonesia. As they grow, they may see their own mother tongue language as an inferior language and learn it barely for passing the exams.

If the Indonesians have stained their own language, then can we say that Singaporeans have stained the English language? When I first came to Singapore, I was a bit disgusted in how they mixed English with other languages, such as word ending sentences like: meh, lah, and loh or adopting other language phrases, such as: tikam-tikam(guessing), kay poh(a busy body), and chia lat(difficult, very bad). To make matters worse, some of my classmates introduced me some words that are combined from two different languages, like agaration(estimation). This also has made me confused at the first time and thought maybe Singlish was the world's worst language ever made.

But soon I realized something: as a multi-cultural country, there are a lot of languages spoken in Singapore. And since some phrases may not be available in English language, they must have adopted their own mother tongue languages because some phrases have been commonly used. Maybe, using Singlish is one of the ways to preserve mother tongue languages in the society.

If you do not like how the Singaporeans speak English, now maybe you should look on the positive side that they are maintaining the use of their mother tongue language. But if you are thankful about the increasing number of Jakarta's residents are using English, maybe you should be remindful that they are blemishing their own mother tongue language. So, which one is better?

The Progression of Fun

When you describe something as "big", people will soon later ask, "How big is that?" The reason is, "big" is relative and how we value something is qualitative, hence a more detailed description is needed, "It is three meters in diameter," then it is quantitative and everyone will understand. But, different case when you describe something as "fun", there is no such thing as fun-o-meter or units to measure how fun something is. Although a detailed and sophisticated explanation has been given, "It has made hormone endorphin and adrenaline rushing ferociously in my blood that I cannot even stop moving my body!", but still, not everybody will understand how "fun" it is.

In fact, every people according to areas of interest, different ranges of age, levels of economy, cultures, etc., will have different measures of excitement. In this post, let us just focus on the most noticeable one, yet captivating to be discussed, it is the ranges of age, an XBOX 360 will not excite a baby, where as a 12-years-old boy will certainly jumping if his parents bought him one. As the mind and the body develop, human will perceive things differently and the level of fun also changes.

My younger sister, who is only 7 months old now, is only attracted to colours and shapes. Even, she was only staring emptily when my mother bought an expensive humongous toy for her, which I, myself will certainly be adrenalized if I am much younger. Soon I realized that she is still too young and the most that she can do is punch repeatedly or bite the parts of the toy. Then, I recalled my experience when I was 3 years old, I was playing with only one action figure in my hand. Imagining it could fly or shoot some lazer beams, sometimes my action figure was involved in a fight with my brother's. I even cried when I could not find it, luckily my mother and my nanny helped me to find it at the end, I was very cheered at that time.

As the time goes on, I began to abandon my old toys and started to play video games, I still remember how my brother banged on the cassette of a Nintendo 64 to make it work. As technology developed, PlayStation was introduced, and GameBoy, and PlayStation 2, and GameBoy colour and XBOX, and Nintendo DS, and XBOX 360, it is never ending. Surprisingly, I was not really interested in video games, but my brother was, but online games nearly taken half of my early teenager's life. Millions of rupiahs I have spent on game vouchers, Internet bills, and rental fees at Internet cafes, days I have gone through in front of the computer (still now, but) only to play Ragnarok Online, GunBound, or Seal Online without gaining anything from it. Now, I regretted for those fruitless experience but I admit that it was a whole fun experience at that time, I cannot even keep my sight away from the screen, maybe (since I have never done so) it is the same feeling when people got addicted to cigarettes.

Most of my friends agreed with this: in primary school or in early secondary/junior high school years, we were all really expecting to go out with friend to the malls and catch a movie. Now, it becomes cliche, shopping malls have become a mundane place to gather with friends, especially with a movie. The "fun" has changed for an adolescent adults, the age range where I am in, most people will perceive going to a party, clubbing, drinking, or even breaking to someone's seventeenth birthday party as fun, but many still play video games instead.

This "fun" seems perpetual, it keeps progressing. Sadly, most of the activities that people nowadays perceive as "fun" is not healthy anymore for the person itself, unlike in the 1970s, where my uncle recounted his experience camping with his friends. Teenagers are now exposed to pornography, alcohols, clubs, video games, and not anymore to outdoor activities. One other thing, one does not have the right to judge someone's "fun", as it is non-measurable and everybody has their own way to have fun.

The Plastic Bag

This story happened on 14th of February 2010 and I'll just post it here since that time I still did not have a blog. This is my REAL personal experience and it is a bit thrilling. So, enjoy!

CHEERS

Do you believe in mind over body? Due to today's incident, I strongly espouse. I have never stolen a thing before and I am sure that I am not a kleptomaniac. However, unconsciously I took somebody's plastic bag filled with towel.

I went to one of the shopping malls in Jakarta with my family and when we were about to go to the parking area to go home, I went to the toilet myself. In the damp restroom, while washing my hands, I saw a man put his plastic bag on the ledge in front of me then he proceeded to the urinal area. Then, something trickled in my brain, "If I take the plastic bag, will that man notice?" After finished washing my hand, I was not thinking about that mischievous idea again and I led my way to the door

However, I was shocked when somebody shouted from the back and was pointing at me.

I took that plastic bag.

I did not realize that I have accidentally taken the bag. "I'm screwed," my consciousness yelled and at that time I was blaming my previous thought to steal.

"Hey kid, give me that bag. What do you think you are doing?" said a robust man harshly as he was approaching me, he had a fierce-look.

"I'm sorry, sir. I did not intend to do anything," I said and he grabbed his possession back from me.

And in my thought, "Okay, let's get this over quickly, it is not a big deal, it's just a plastic bag with towel and I know I have done a wrong thing."

Then another man, who was less muscular (fortunately), joined. I jumped to him, "Sir, please believe me sir, I did not really mean anything."

I was about to exit the room but my shirt was held and at that moment, I realized the value of the towel was not important anymore but my act of stealing was.

"Let's get this prick to the security," they were talking to each other.

"Please sir, let me go, I did mean anything, really, and my family is waiting outside," I pleaded repeatedly until my knees dropped and my hands held on to each other.

"Okay, you just wait here first. I will bring you to the security to solve this problem," the less muscular man said while he was meticulously screening me. I assumed he was judging me whether I am a real thief or not.  Then I stood up, while my knees were shaking involuntarily.

The other man left the toilet.

I was very frightened. "Maybe he will come with more guys. Maybe I will be dragged. Maybe I will be..." assumptions kept terrorizing me. I was sure that I would be mighty beaten up by "the security".

I took out my phone and repeated my words to the man while trying to call my mother. Unfortunately my phone screen indicated "no signal". Shoot, that's why I hate when technology blunders, it was due to my phone not able to read the SIM card not because of the location of the place that caused “no signal”. I continued restarting my phone, hoping it would solve the problem.

"Wait sir, let my mother explains this to you."

"You just wait here and let me hold your phone. Scared that you will flee," but I refused to give my phone and kept restarting it. However, it seemed I was on my own and my phone did not willing to help me.

I prayed in my heart, "Oh God, please help me, let me get out of this situation."

The other man came back.

I began pleading them again. "Sir, before this, I was holding a bag also and I went to the toilet. But I forgot that I already gave the bag to my mother after that. Please, sir, just let me go," I lied, trying to draw sympathy from them.

"So, how?" they began discussing again. Sometimes white lies would do, they seemed to believe my story.

"Let's just settle this to the one with authority."

My effort seemed futile, I was still trapped in the room and unconsciously they cornered me. Well, I thought for that moment that I would return home with swollen body or police report. Or maybe both.

I prayed one more time, hoping a miracle would come.

"Come on, let's go outside," and I followed them.

"You, say sorry to him!" the other man said.

I saw an old man was waiting outside the toilet, smoking unperturbedly, his face was very calm as if nothing has happened. I assumed the two men that have victimized me were his hands.

"Sir, I was not planning to do anything. It was under my consciousness, I thought it was my mother's plastic bag," I tried to explain again and pleading to be freed for myriad times.

To my relief, the old man said, "It's okay. It's okay, but don't do it again next time, okay?"

"Yes sir, yes sir. Thank you," my heart tumbled down and I took my pace as fast as I could to the parking area.

I was still worried about "the security", I was afraid that they might come out anytime and beat me up.

To my relief, I met my father, he was standing at the railing waiting for me.

"What took you so long?" said my father.

"I was in a big trouble. I was very stupid. I did not know why I did that," I said with my heart was still throbbing like a running train.

"Why? What happen?" my father questioned.

I did not say anything; I was still in a shock and kept walking towards my car.

In the car, I explained everything to my whole family. My father giggled and said, "Every human has blind spot and we have to be aware of it"

"You just self-hypnotized yourself," my brother contributed to the conversation while my mother was at the backseat and still digesting my story.

"That's why. You cannot have a blank mind, your brain have to be on standby every time," advised my mother after she fathomed my incident.

In the car, I only said ‘yes, mom’ and ‘yes, dad’ while my brain was still confused about the incident, why on earth I could do such thing?

I kept silent in the car until we reached home and tried to find a valid reason why I have done such a ridiculous thing. Then, I concluded 2 things myself: firstly, mind controls the body and secondly, every little thing, whether it is good or bad, it begins in the mind.

The First TeaJug's Law

Who said there is no place without rules in this world? Because even in the toilet, several rules must be abode in order to do your business without leaving any bad impression to other people. Since nobody has made any patent for this rule (as far as I know), I am declaring this as The First TeaJug's Law. I warn you, do not underestimate this law since you may not survive after emptying your bladder.

The toilet is the most relaxing place maybe since man with the full bladder will get his full relaxation in the toilet (or maybe emptying 'other bladder'). Moreover, people will meet other people and they have to stay in that small room for 30-60 seconds, which will make an awkward situation since they are forced to interact with each other indirectly although they do not know each other. It will end up by making an initial impression to one another. Therefore, abide this law or else you will fail in the most important place in the world for human being.

These are the common first impressions you will get: 'he is gay', 'he is shy', or even 'AN EXHIBITIONIST!". I hope you will not fall into those three categories since most of us hope to get a good first impression from other people although we do not know them. It is better to be unpopular in the toilet by abiding The First TeaJug's Law rather than being 'famous' with an unpleasant initial impression.

FIRST, to avoid 'he is gay' impression. Make sure you do not urinate right beside a person, it makes an impression that you are interested to peek other people's 'trunk and bush'. It does not matter wether there are separators although they actually helped, you still have to abide these rules. Indeed, this is quite difficult to be practiced since maybe the condition in the toilet forced you to break this law. Let me give you some examples:

Condition number 1

The small dots refer to men where the big dots are the urinoirs and the question marks are question marks. So, in this condition, you are stuck and you have to pee between 2 other people. However, you are very concerned about your first impression, so how do you deal with this condition? First, you can pee in the cubicle (please refer to the second part of the First TeaJug's Law), or you wash your hand first before and buy some time there while waiting them to finish. Congrats, you have succeeded in handling condition number 1.

Condition number 2

Now, the line is the wall. And you are the guy with the question marks, it seems that you are free to use any of the urinoirs at your side, but you are wrong! You are only allowed to use the first and the third from the left since if you used the other 2, you may be accused of peeping people's 'mushroom' in front of you, on the other side of the wall. Pay particular attention to the men on the other side of the wall, they have abide the law, they keep a distance between them.

SECOND, to avoid the 'he is shy' impression. Actually, this complement to the previous one because if you are keeping too much distance away or if you run directly to the cubicle, oops! You might have fallen to this impression. Therefore, it is best to keep 1-3 urinoir(s) distance away depending on the number of urinoirs present. 

Condition number 3

This is the weirdest arrangement I have ever seen in a toilet in one of a well-known seafood restaurant in Jakarta. the black lumps are the urinoir and the drawings represent their size. And C is the cubicle and the small three squares are the sinks. It is very compact and the there is only small distance between the urinoirs which make condition number 3 rather difficult to be solved. If there is even only a person using the urinoir you will be unable to use the other 2 since they are very close together. Moreover, I am very confused why they had to install different size of urinoir in a very small alley. In this case, you have to buy some time by using the sink or if you cannot hold it anymore, then you have to use the cubicle. I am sure people will understand you for your and their own convenient since it is not very pleasant to have someone peeing very close to you.

THE MAJOR PROHIBITIONS OF THE FIRST TEAJUG'S LAW:

1. Do not masturbate in front of the urinoir. HEY! Do not laugh! I witnessed this once. The condition was like condition number 1, but I was on the right and the masturbate guy was the one in the middle. When he 'arrived', hastily he zipped off his pants, looking to his right and his left while shaking his hand. Then, I hurried myself to the sink and off from the toilet, refraining myself to know of what is going to happen next.
2. Do not pull of your pants until they dropped on to the floor. Again, this is not a laughable thing. I witnessed this once also, surprisingly it happened in one of the high-end shopping malls in Jakarta. Not to be racist, but as far as I can remember, he was Chinese and all of the visitors of the toilet can see clearly his 'curve' which I assume nobody is interested rather disgusted.
3. Do not 'aim' on top of the urinoir. Just to be respectful for the next user who will have to flush the urinoir by pressing the button above the urinoir. However, sadly, one of my friends seemed to have a hobby to mess in the toilet. He aimed on the flush handle and went from one end to another end, peeing all the urinoirs' handles. I was surprised since I was always being responsible after I have used the urinoir, but after that event, I was being more concerned about my personal hygiene. Thank God, most of the urinoirs are now equipped with automatic flushing machine.
4. Do not make the triumphant noise. I am sorry but I often doing this since this will give me a greater sense of pleasure especially when I have been holding the urge for a long time. Moreover, it is like winning a war with your own bladder. But I know that this will disrupt the other users since the sound is quite unpleasant to be heard since it is similar to the sound produced when people are having sex: 'Ahhhh', 'ouuhhhh', or even 'Oh, yeahhhhhhh" with a lingering effect.

Remember, it is a dangerous world out there. Be flexible to these rules, apply it while you can to keep your pride as a man. I am sure there are a lot more 'conditions' since no rules are made by the government for making a standardized arrangement of the toilet. The architects do not take a big consideration arranging the toilets, therefore a lot of toilets are disarranged, I hope by reading this blog they will not take things too lightly anymore. Lastly, DO NOT THINK THIS IS A SIMPLE THING, ABIDE THEM FOR YOUR OWN SAKE.

CHEERS