The First TeaJug's Law

Who said there is no place without rules in this world? Because even in the toilet, several rules must be abode in order to do your business without leaving any bad impression to other people. Since nobody has made any patent for this rule (as far as I know), I am declaring this as The First TeaJug's Law. I warn you, do not underestimate this law since you may not survive after emptying your bladder.

The toilet is the most relaxing place maybe since man with the full bladder will get his full relaxation in the toilet (or maybe emptying 'other bladder'). Moreover, people will meet other people and they have to stay in that small room for 30-60 seconds, which will make an awkward situation since they are forced to interact with each other indirectly although they do not know each other. It will end up by making an initial impression to one another. Therefore, abide this law or else you will fail in the most important place in the world for human being.

These are the common first impressions you will get: 'he is gay', 'he is shy', or even 'AN EXHIBITIONIST!". I hope you will not fall into those three categories since most of us hope to get a good first impression from other people although we do not know them. It is better to be unpopular in the toilet by abiding The First TeaJug's Law rather than being 'famous' with an unpleasant initial impression.

FIRST, to avoid 'he is gay' impression. Make sure you do not urinate right beside a person, it makes an impression that you are interested to peek other people's 'trunk and bush'. It does not matter wether there are separators although they actually helped, you still have to abide these rules. Indeed, this is quite difficult to be practiced since maybe the condition in the toilet forced you to break this law. Let me give you some examples:

Condition number 1

The small dots refer to men where the big dots are the urinoirs and the question marks are question marks. So, in this condition, you are stuck and you have to pee between 2 other people. However, you are very concerned about your first impression, so how do you deal with this condition? First, you can pee in the cubicle (please refer to the second part of the First TeaJug's Law), or you wash your hand first before and buy some time there while waiting them to finish. Congrats, you have succeeded in handling condition number 1.

Condition number 2

Now, the line is the wall. And you are the guy with the question marks, it seems that you are free to use any of the urinoirs at your side, but you are wrong! You are only allowed to use the first and the third from the left since if you used the other 2, you may be accused of peeping people's 'mushroom' in front of you, on the other side of the wall. Pay particular attention to the men on the other side of the wall, they have abide the law, they keep a distance between them.

SECOND, to avoid the 'he is shy' impression. Actually, this complement to the previous one because if you are keeping too much distance away or if you run directly to the cubicle, oops! You might have fallen to this impression. Therefore, it is best to keep 1-3 urinoir(s) distance away depending on the number of urinoirs present. 

Condition number 3

This is the weirdest arrangement I have ever seen in a toilet in one of a well-known seafood restaurant in Jakarta. the black lumps are the urinoir and the drawings represent their size. And C is the cubicle and the small three squares are the sinks. It is very compact and the there is only small distance between the urinoirs which make condition number 3 rather difficult to be solved. If there is even only a person using the urinoir you will be unable to use the other 2 since they are very close together. Moreover, I am very confused why they had to install different size of urinoir in a very small alley. In this case, you have to buy some time by using the sink or if you cannot hold it anymore, then you have to use the cubicle. I am sure people will understand you for your and their own convenient since it is not very pleasant to have someone peeing very close to you.

THE MAJOR PROHIBITIONS OF THE FIRST TEAJUG'S LAW:

1. Do not masturbate in front of the urinoir. HEY! Do not laugh! I witnessed this once. The condition was like condition number 1, but I was on the right and the masturbate guy was the one in the middle. When he 'arrived', hastily he zipped off his pants, looking to his right and his left while shaking his hand. Then, I hurried myself to the sink and off from the toilet, refraining myself to know of what is going to happen next.
2. Do not pull of your pants until they dropped on to the floor. Again, this is not a laughable thing. I witnessed this once also, surprisingly it happened in one of the high-end shopping malls in Jakarta. Not to be racist, but as far as I can remember, he was Chinese and all of the visitors of the toilet can see clearly his 'curve' which I assume nobody is interested rather disgusted.
3. Do not 'aim' on top of the urinoir. Just to be respectful for the next user who will have to flush the urinoir by pressing the button above the urinoir. However, sadly, one of my friends seemed to have a hobby to mess in the toilet. He aimed on the flush handle and went from one end to another end, peeing all the urinoirs' handles. I was surprised since I was always being responsible after I have used the urinoir, but after that event, I was being more concerned about my personal hygiene. Thank God, most of the urinoirs are now equipped with automatic flushing machine.
4. Do not make the triumphant noise. I am sorry but I often doing this since this will give me a greater sense of pleasure especially when I have been holding the urge for a long time. Moreover, it is like winning a war with your own bladder. But I know that this will disrupt the other users since the sound is quite unpleasant to be heard since it is similar to the sound produced when people are having sex: 'Ahhhh', 'ouuhhhh', or even 'Oh, yeahhhhhhh" with a lingering effect.

Remember, it is a dangerous world out there. Be flexible to these rules, apply it while you can to keep your pride as a man. I am sure there are a lot more 'conditions' since no rules are made by the government for making a standardized arrangement of the toilet. The architects do not take a big consideration arranging the toilets, therefore a lot of toilets are disarranged, I hope by reading this blog they will not take things too lightly anymore. Lastly, DO NOT THINK THIS IS A SIMPLE THING, ABIDE THEM FOR YOUR OWN SAKE.

CHEERS